Pink, politicized

I'm not a big blog reader, but there are a couple that I read daily, at least. One, of course, was the inspiration for this one, by friends of ours in Brooklyn. The other is one that M. found via google, I believe, and now we're both hooked.

Today, I checked both, and got very much sucked into the latter. Because, you see, today's post was all about gender identity and... pink. Granted, Baba (as this particular parent calls herself) tends more towards hyperventilation than do I, but as she described not only her own four-year-old daughter's ballet class, but the ballet-themed birthday party of her daughter's cousin, I began to feel some distinct resonances. And then she hit the nail on the head for me: "My brother -in-law and boy nephew were totally fine the whole time[during the ballet party], by the way, because why? Because at no point was this pink tutu-filled world laid out for them as their one, their only, their true destiny." (to read the full post, click here)

Hmm.

In itself, I have nothing against pink. Or skirts or dresses, or heels, as anyone who knows me is quite aware. But it disturbs me deeply that in this supposedly post-feminist day and age, I can still go into Target and see "girls' toys" that consist of plastic kitchen sets, baby dolls, and all of the other trappings of the 1950s housewife. Legos, Duplos, and all the fun stuff gets labeled "for boys". Even the supposedly "gender-neutral" toys get painted shades of pink and lavender for little girls. And don't even get me started on baby clothes. What sort of subtle messages are we sending our kids?

I promise that my pink-nazi phase will pass, especially if we have a boy. Even if little Hepzibah wants to take ballet in yards of pink tulle... hey, I did it, and turned out okay. (no comments, please.) And I don't mean any of this as judgment against anyone who disagrees - what, am I going to be opinionated while denying the opinions of others? Not so much. A lot of friends wore a lot more pink, and a lot more frills, than I ever did, and have become brilliant, liberated women. But I challenge us all to find just one of these women who have not faced gender stereotyping, or any of the other subtle forms of sexism that are still rampant in our culture. Pink is just one sign of it, of the way in which we tell our little girls "what it is to be feminine". And as long as we are creating that distinction, as long as we are setting different boundaries for little boys and little girls, this particular Mummy will be firmly anti-pink.

When the Bean is old enough to choose his/her own clothes, then Mummy's opinion becomes just that: Mummy's opinion. I'll even help fasten the little frilly pink skirts. But while the Bean's sense of self-in-the-world is in its earliest phases, wouldn't it be nice to actually enact and embody the phrase which I hope our Bean will hear frequently: "You can be absolutely anything you want to be."