It was before Asa was born. A lifetime ago.
It was an exciting, an exhilarating time for us, but it was also a time of grief. As wonderful as the legislative election was that year, in our view, that was also the election that brought us Prop 8 - a law that had no direct impact upon us, but that sent a tremendous shockwave throughout the LGBT community. We were pretty used to having marriage equality fail at the polls, but to have an existing law repealed - to send thousands of couples into limbo - was horrifying.
What a long way we've come.
This election was huge in our house. Living in a swing state might have had something to do with that, but given everything that was at stake this year, it probably didn't change all that much for us.
And like all kids, Asa picked up on the vibe. More than that, he picked up on a lot of details, although we tried to shield him from some of the unpleasantness - some of the downright meanness - that an election year can bring out. We talked about the President, we talked about the importance of voting, we talked about disagreeing without becoming unpleasant. The morning after the election - with circles under our eyes and much less sleep than we'd have liked - we shared our delight in the outcome: legislative elections that weren't quite as spectacular as 2008, but the first ever victories for marriage equality at the polls - in four states.
So it wasn't surprising that at dinner the next night, Asa announced his plans to paint a picture for the President. He'd paint a picture of the President's family, he decided - one that he could show to his mommies. (A heartbreaking statement on more than one level, that one.) We were delighted, and encouraged him - M. promised to get out real canvas and good paint. And then Asa thought for a moment, and said:
"I'm going to paint a picture for Mitt Womney, too."
I'm not proud of this moment, but it had been a long election season and I was tired; the first words out of my mouth were, "But honey, he lost."
"I know, Mummy. But it might make him feel better."
Nothing like having your kid make you feel like a jerk.
Mitt Romney said a lot of things during the election that I found offensive. His statements on women, his backpedaling on healthcare, his choices of surrogates were almost uniformly off-putting. On LGBT issues, he was entirely uninformed. (Yes, Governor, we do have families. We do have children.) I had been so horrified by his politics, by the strange chameleon nature of his campaign, that I could no longer imagine doing this man a kindness. Politics had trumped humanity, as too easily happens.
Asa understood it differently. He knows what it is to win, and what it is to lose. He has felt both, and can empathize. And in his loving, unbiased way, he tries to do what he can to make things better.
This year, I am thankful for many things. For a renewed faith in our political system and our country's values; for the growing recognition of my relationship and our family.
But mostly, I am thankful for my children, who are better people than I am.
